God and Ratchet Sexual Things

*2013 Repost*

When I was in the eighth grade, right before I truly decided to give myself to Christ, I had a bit of a lust problem. And I use the terms “bit” and “had” loosely. We all have problems sometimes. Also in the eighth grade, I very religiously maintained a diary of every thought to ever cross my mind. (For in case you have never noticed, I have the world’s most overactive brain and I am also the world’s most sentimental person. Therefore writing and talking too much is a common struggle.)
But anyway. One night in my diary named Francesca, I wrote strange things about sex. And so the stream of consciousness continued until I somehow ended up randomly discussing the Holy Spirit. Then I stared at the page for a few seconds, looked at the word, “sex” and the name “Holy Spirit” and concluded on a line below, “What is wrong with me? The Holy Spirit does not belong on a sheet of paper with premarital sex. Or maybe He does.”
He does. 
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.” (1 Corinthians 6:18, 19 NIV)
The Holy Spirit Himself, who inspired the Bible, put Himself right there on the sex page, because He knows He’s the answer.
Honestly, God’s all that helps with sexual immorality. Nothing else makes it better.
All of our attempts to control ourselves are just that- attempts. We can talk ourselves out of things, psych ourselves up into things, whatever. But when it comes down to it, we fail a whole lot. And when we don’t fail, a lot of the time the only reason we come home not screwed is because we’re too afraid of God’s wrath to do what we want. And that doesn’t make us any more pure in heart than we would have been if we would have went along and done what we desired. (And before anybody gets ratchet and starts stuff, that was definitely not a reference to a specific night in my life. Kay, moving along.)
But here’s why it’s so freaking hard- this whole sex thing is about more than a compelling instinct to reproduce. It’s about satisfaction. Not in the disturbing way you are probably thinking right now, but in a weird soulful kind of way. Our souls never stop wanting. And I mean, I’ll be honest and say I’m speaking from experience. If you’ve ever said, “This has to stop. I’ll persuade myself to stop! I’ll reward myself if I stop! I’ll do anything!”, you know that it doesn’t work. Because you just end up with a needy soul who is willing to be filled with anything, and next thing you know, you’re sitting in your room eating a bucket of ice cream and wishing you weren’t. Then you realize that it’s as empty as the calories you’re consuming and you’re desperate again and probably worse off than before.
I don’t even care if you think this is awkward right now, just saying. Because you know that you’ve failed to please God at some point because of your constant wanting, if not in this area, then in another area. Don’t say you haven’t.
Truth is, on your own, with any addiction or struggle, you’re gonna end up telling yourself strange things, twisting the Bible, making compromises, or a number of other wrong things. You start out terribly sorry and regretful, until you start to rationalize. Something like, “Well. Every time I fail, it’s like slapping Jesus in the face as He’s being led to the cross. I like Jesus. I should stop…. Actually, I’ve failed more times than He was flogged 2,000 years ago, so I think the damage has been done. I have been forgiven after all. Why change now? …You know, maybe I’ll go to hell if I don’t. I guess I should stop… Well, hell’s a long time from right now. Maybe I’ll be fixed by then. I think I’ll risk it.”
And that’s when you go from love to fear, and that’s not where God wants you. Instead, He wants you how He designed you to be- filled with Him. Satisfied by Him. That body that you’re sinning against- it isn’t your own. You were bought at a price, and the Holy Spirit was put inside you. He should be what fills and satisfies your soul. If we’re living how we’re supposed to, we wouldn’t need to chase all these other things to fill us up! We wouldn’t be so addicted to sex or self-image or other’s opinions or porn or trying to be good enough or those of the opposite sex or any of that other stuff that so easily entangles. You don’t need it, no matter how many times you’ve told God, “You don’t understand. I NEED it.”
You know the very first sin was about this? Not sex, but desiring something in addition to God. Adam and Eve had the fullness of God with them in the Garden all those years ago, yet they felt the need to go after what was forbidden, because they refused to be satisfied with God and God alone. And we’re brave enough to look down on them.
The Holy Spirit, the fullness of God, is inside of us. Yet we listen to the serpent and we pursue things in addition to God for satisfaction. We question, “Did God really say…?” and turn from Him.
Okay, that’s all I’ve got for now about this.
Holy Spirit. Sex. Yeah. Jesus still loves you and He’s the only one who can fill you up and heal you. But yeah. You’re free to struggle, but you’re not struggling to be free. This is why there’s grace. Just saying.