Stand Firm?

"This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s... You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you..." -2 Chronicles 20:15-17

I don't know if you're anything like me, but way back when I didn't know what it meant to have faith, I'd hear people talk about this. You know those preachers on TV-- "You don't even have to fight! This battle is the Lord's! It's the Looooorrrddd's, Sister!" My response: "Yeah, right. Not exactly sold on that one right yet."
Because if you're a part of this crazy thing called life, you know that every second can, at times, feel like a battle. It feels like you don't do anything but fight- for yourself, for your mental sanity, for your desires, for the hope of becoming more like Christ in the trials. What do you mean, "You will not have to fight this battle" and just "stand firm"? It feels like I'm the one fighting right about now.
Funny how God doesn't say something like this just once in His Word. He says it again in Ephesians 6. Okay, if you know anything about Ephesians 6, you're probably thinking, "Ohmygosh, what is going on? Ephesians 6 is all about waging war and fighting!" Yeah, well.

 ^" Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then..."

So, you put on the full armor of God, and then what? You stand firm. ...That's it? What does that even mean? Look at 2 Chronicles 20 and Ephesians 6 again. You see crazy things like praying on all occasions in the Spirit, praying for others, falling down in worship before God even before the battle, singing songs of praise and thanking God. In verse 20 of 2 Chronicles 20, it says,  "Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld." This is expanded upon even more if you look at Isaiah 7:9- "Stand firm in faith or you will not stand at all.” So, what all of these pieces of Scripture are saying is this: After you've done everything you've been told to do- you've fixed your eyes on Jesus, you've put on the full armor of God, you've prayed and are continuing to pray, you're worshipping, and you've surrendered the situation to God- just stand firm in faith. Maybe "standing firm" isn't as easy as it sounded before looking more deeply into its meaning, but it's what the Bible says to do. Stand firm, and give the rest to God. It truly is His battle.

Reminds me of a story found in the gospels. John 9:6-7, to be exact. So, Jesus is walking around and He and His disciples see this man who was blind since birth and His disciples are like, "Hey, why's this guy blind? What'd his parents do?" and Jesus is like, "No one sinned to make this happen. This just happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." Interesting. This is when Jesus does that spitting on the ground thing to make mud and he shoves it on the man's eyes. But what happens next really hit me. "Go," He told him, "wash in the pool of Siloam" (this word means Sent). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.
Think about it. This guy's blind and completely hopeless, until a Stranger puts mud on his eyes and tells him to go to a pool. But that's the thing- he's hopeless. There is absolutely no way he could've ever gotten better. He could've very well spent the remainder of his life exactly as he'd spent it every day before the day the Stranger put mud in his eyes. But there was a Healer. Jesus did the miracle of healing this guy. I don't know exactly what happened with the mud or why Jesus did that, but when that happened, something started to change in him. Suddenly, there was hope like never before. A healing, a victory, was promised, and all the blind man had to do was go wash in the pool. Obediently, the man washed in the pool and all of a sudden, he had sight. It wasn't the washing in the pool that generated a healing; Jesus already took care of that. All that was required for this man to see after his encounter with Jesus was enough faith to go wash in a pool. If this man wouldn't have acted in faith and obedience, he wouldn't have seen the power of God come through in his situation... actually, he wouldn't have seen anything at all. See where I'm going with this?
It's kinda like these battles we're in. 1 Corinthians tells us that the victory is ours. So, why do we still screw up? Why do we still wander around like a blind man? Because if we aren't acting on faith- standing firm in faith, as it were- we're not gonna see the results of the work that's already been done for us. If we're going to war but not standing firm, we're not gonna see the deliverance of the Lord. It's all we're asked to do. Stand firm and let God show you the deliverance; let Him bring the victory. Keep your eyes on Him. Keep praying. Keep acting in faith and obedience. Keep putting on the full armor of God. Keep allowing Him to renew your mind. Keep worshipping. Keep trusting. It's just like washing in a pool. Just do it. And remember when Jesus said the blind man was blind so that the work of God could be displayed in his life? What if you're struggling so that when you stand firm and allow God to bring deliverance, the work of God will be displayed in your life?
I mean, just look at the cross. When Jesus died and covered His children with His blood, the victory over sin and death and the enemy was given to us. It's ours because He did what we could never do. He did the hard part of swallowing the grave- all we have to do is accept this and stand on it. He took up our fight and won for us. Accept it. It's not up to you to win the battle or heal your eyesight or overcome the grave, because He did it for you. Just stand firm.

You Weren't Made for The Desert

I started my first day of junior year today, so I figured I should write this down before I get too busy with AP homework and working and such.

So, the other day I was trying to get a last minute tan before school. You know, just so I wouldn't look so much like a ghost or a porcelain doll for the rest the year. So I laid out the lawn chair and put on my bathing suit and prepared to fry my skin off. Strange enough, after I'd been outside for about ten minutes, all of a sudden all of the leaves on a nearby tree decided they were going to all fall off at once. I mean, it was summer! I hadn't seen a single leaf fall since autumn- it wasn't time for this! I was out in my bathing suit trying to tan, but this tree had other plans. My thought process: "Thanks for ruining my summer, Tree. Like I needed to randomly be ambushed by a hundred plus leaves while I am trying to enjoy myself."

But it got me to think. The day before this happened, one of my best friends came to my house and we took a walk in which we discussed our lives and got attacked by bugs. It was actually quite wonderful. But one of the very first things she said as we began to unpack all of our struggles was that it was like all of these seasons were flying past her, and she was trying to cling to them, but there was nothing to grab onto. I got what she was saying, and I could definitely see why that would be a struggle in her life, but I figured that just wasn't a problem I had. (At the time, I think I was still in denial of the fact that in a month I'm leaving everything I've ever known as a home and moving ten hours away.)

But then when these autumn leaves came out of nowhere and bombarded my tanning chair, I realized that maybe I really didn't have the greatest understanding on the seasons of my life. Recently, a new season has been taking place in my life, and although it feels as if it hasn't even had time to settle in yet, it's changing yet again. (That's how summer feels, right?) And so yeah. I mean, I've always looked at struggles in my life as different seasons, but all of a sudden it seems like an uphill battle to leave those seasons. It's like God is saying, "Okay, this season of suffering can end now; it's time to rejoice! Just give it to me and cross over the Jordan." and I'm the Israelites and I'm saying, "Nope! I hate this struggle, but I'm comfortable here now. I hate living in this desert, but I'm not used to the Promised Land on the other side of the Jordan. I'll just stay here and wander around for another 40 years or so."

When the Israelites crossed over the Jordan, they were making an conscious effort to leave their old way behind and move on into abundant life. They could've chose to wander around for another forty years, but they chose the Promise instead. My friend Hannah said it this way- When the Israelites were in the desert, they were being provided for by drinking from rocks and having manna fall from heaven. They were constantly relying on God to sustain them. But in the Promised Land, they'd have abundance and wouldn't feel a constant need for God. And the fear of not "needing" God could've kept them from crossing over, if they wouldn't have chosen the abundant life. They may have felt God's provision in the desert, but they weren't made for the desert. They were made for the Promised Land.

Recently I've been wondering, "What's so great about the Promised Land anyway? Sure I'm having a rough time and every second of everyday is revolved around this struggle, but at least I feel comfortable here. At least I get to see water shoot out of rocks; I get to see God come through when I'm desperate. And sure, He wants me to let it go and move on to the abundant life He died to give me, but I don't think He knows what He's talking about. I can't live in the Promised Land; I wouldn't even know where to begin if I were to live in a land characterized by satisfaction and abundance. That's just not what I'm used to anymore. I can't do it. I'm defined by my struggle out here in the desert and I couldn't possibly be content without this constant struggling. This is me."

I am not- and you are not- defined by struggles. We're defined by the Father's love for us and the blood of Jesus that covers us. We're free to struggle, but we're not defined by the difficult season we're in. We won't lose our identity if we let it go, for our identity is in Christ alone, whether in the desert or in the Promised Land. No matter what season we're in, we're always free in Christ. And I don't wanna see anyone allow fear to keep them from an abundant life that God has promised them in love.

But when the Israelites were in the desert, they were tempted and tried, worn down and feeling defeated. But God's victories among them and His undying love for them kept them going, and kept them fighting, and kept them pressing forward into His land of Promise. And during that time, they were going through the process of healing and learning to live how God wanted them to live. So even if you are in the desert, it's just because God's getting you ready to enter the Promised Land. If you're struggling, it's because God is giving you the strength and desire to someday cross the Jordan and find yourself deep in His heart. And I pray that you have the sensitivity to know that seasons do change. Don't cling to a season you weren't meant to stay in forever. Keep pressing towards the Promised Land. Don't be afraid to live loved and satisfied. Don't be afraid to let the season slip through your hands- it was never yours to hold, anyway. You were meant to cling to Jesus, and nothing else. Because after all, only love remains.

When in Love...

So, when you love someone, you do some pretty crazy things for them, right? This is something that is just now sinking in... I mean, you'd spend hours writing them letters, or you'd drive long distances to see them. A guy I know actually just took a train yesterday from Virginia to Alabama to see a girl that he enjoys. That's what it's like with God. I mean, we're supposed to obey out of love, am I right? Not out of fear or religious duty, but out of gratitude. (For perfect love casts out fear...)

I was in Topsail Island, North Carolina a couple weeks ago for a missions trip with my youth group, which was amazing, by the way. I absolutely love inside jokes and making everything funny, and an inside joke that had appeared in the tiny room with one bathroom stuffed with nine girls was randomly shouting, "Shalom!" and asking "What sorcery is this?" continually. So, a friend of mine one day decided he was going to eat six cheeseburgers and fries in 30 minutes so he could get his name put on a website of this eating establishment. Apparently this challenge is a big deal, because almost instantly a huge crowd of everyone in the restaurant was standing around him and staring. He just so happened to be sitting by a window at the time, so these children came over and smashed their face all over the glass and stared at him- just in case he threw up. Knowing some of my friends there found my awkward social interactions funny, I decided to go outside and shout, "SHALOM. What sorcery is this?" at the children until all five of them all turned and stared at me, confused. I confess that was the most awkward moment of my life so far, but I did it because I wanted to make my friends that I love laugh. I later got in a fight with one of the children, which was also amusing.

Shouldn't it be the same with God? Not getting in a fight with random children smashing their faces on a window because they want to watch your friend throw up, but doing crazy things just because you love God. I want to lay down my comfort zone at the feet of Jesus and move let His love take it from there, because that's where freedom lies. Weird to think that being subject to God's will is truly more freeing than allowing your own will to control you. On a more serious note, I've been there. Last year in school, there was a physically and sight impaired postgraduate at my school who sat alone outside of the lunchroom every day. Alone; all by herself. Honestly, if I didn't have the Spirit of God in me, I would've moved on and attempted to cover my guilt everyday and push myself into apathy, like I've done so many times in my life before.But when I saw her alone, this time I knew God wasn't about to just let me walk on by. I'd seen her so many times before, but now God was calling me to show His love. I am the most socially awkward person you will ever meet. I did not want to just walk up to this girl I didn't know and say hey. But God had shown me so much love and poured so much grace on me that I couldn't ignore her. I didn't feel like reaching out to her, but what if Jesus just didn't feel like reaching out to me? What if He just didn't feel like showing me God's love on the cross? I'd be dead in my sin still.

So I obeyed, for once, just because I knew God loved. And because I loved Him. And she asked me to sit with her. And I did, everyday, just because God is love. I still failed. I was still selfish, I still wanted to go sit with my friends, I still was tired of the judging glances I got, I still felt socially awkward, I still complained every day, and I still failed to be a shining example of God's love. But even in my failure, God moved. The two of us talked about how when God says to move, it's best to obey and by the time the semester was over, this girl had called me on the phone and told me how thankful she was that I sat with her. She told me I was the first person to ever break her loneliness. She said that this was the first time she's ever been able to go through the lunch line and know that someone was waiting for her because she was cared about. And that broke my heart and built my faith.

I can't help but wonder what would happen if I obeyed God in every area of my life out of love. If I did things because I'm madly in love with Him. I can only imagine how God would take my failures and use me anyway. I can't even imagine the grace that would fill my life.

Unspinning the Web

Originally, this was going to be a cover for a song with me just saying all the stuff I'm about to write down. But first of all, I don't sing. Second of all, I have no guitar. Third of all, I have no working camera. So, yeah. Anyway. 

The lyrics to my favorite song say, "O Lord, how long will I be haunted by the fear that I believe? My hands like locks on cages to these dreams I can't set free... Please Lord, how long will I be held captive by the lies that I believe? My heart's in constant chaos, and it keeps me so deceived." Okay, this is a song for anyone who's ever believed a lie. And I don't mean a lie like some guy telling you he likes you, but he really doesn't. (I mean, that would suck, too, though.) I mean, a lie that's shaped your life. Like, maybe you're that Christian kid who's like, "Yeah! I'm a Christian! Of course I believe the Bible! Watch me prove how God created everything in seven days! Let me show you that it's scientifically explained that the Red Sea was parted!" But when you read something like maybe Isaiah 43, that says that you are precious and honored in His sight and He loves you, you doubt it. You don't believe that God loves you even with all your screw-ups as much as you believe that he parted the Red Sea. Maybe you don't even recognize the lies anymore; you just know something's wrong.

Yeah.

After a while, your whole life is nothing but interlocking lies, Interwoven, carefully spun by Satan for the purpose of capturing you. They aren't easy to combat. And they cause fear to overwhelm you. "Will I ever be enough? Will I ever be accepted? Am I loved? Will I be forgiven? Could all that is lost ever be found?" But I believe that the only way to stop believing lies about yourself or God or anything is to start believing Truth. I mean, look at fear. It's caused by lies. What's the opposite of fear? Honestly, what could ever possibly counter-act fear? Perfect love, for perfect love casts out fear. (Yeah, the Bible will never cease to surprise me.) So instead of fear, you need love. And what is perfect love? Think about it. Perfect love comes from God and is God. And He is also the Way, the Truth, and the Life. See, Satan is the father of lies, and when he lies he is acting out of his character, but Jesus is the Truth. And in Him, you find perfect love. So fighting this battle is a matter of Truth and Love vs. Lies and Fear. It's a battle to see who will reign in your mind in that moment- the father of lies or the Truth. 

And it requires looking at the core of what you believe. Maybe there's a lie that's constructed the way you live. Maybe you don't believe God loves you as much as He says He does, or that the sin you confessed over and over again is still held against you, or that you can't do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Or maybe you still think you're a disappointment, even though we all know God is using you tremendously. Letting God's light shine into that dark inside and being honest allows you to see what exactly you've been believing- Truth or lies.And once you are graced with eyes to see, that's when you can start to unspin the web. Combat the lies with Truth from God's Word consciously. For example, if you way, way deep inside believe that God doesn't care about your struggles, fight that lie with truth such as 2 Kings 20:4, "I have heard your prayer and seen your tears. I will heal you." or 2 Chronicles 20. Ask God for the faith to trust Him, because you can't do it alone. And while you're at it, get some back up. Talk to someone. Every time I've let walls down and been vulnerable, I've been surprised with grace.It's scary, but it helps tremendously. Once you start speaking truth and recognizing lies, don't give up. The web, by the grace of God, will start to unravel. You start to get free. And heal. Perfect love casts out fear, and the lies that you believe are replaced by the Truth that sets you free.